EDITOR'S NOTE: This is the third in a series of regular columns by MUSC writer Bryce Donovan. "Trust Me, I Know a Doctor" takes us inside Bryce's mind as he experiences the interesting aspects of life at MUSC, all told through his own lighthearted lens.

Ah, the new year.

That wonderful time when, after 12 consecutive months of questionable decisions 鈥�*cut to*

Bedroom

ME: 鈥淗oney, I went ahead and set a second alarm for tomorrow morning. We are NOT missing that flight.鈥� *laughs triumphantly, closes calculator app*

Pet store

ME (to kids): 鈥淵ou know what? Yes. Let鈥檚 do it. I mean, who ever regretted getting a ferret?鈥�

Elevator

MY BRAIN: 鈥淩elax. It鈥檒l be fine. Let it rip. No way anyone hears it.鈥�

鈥� we get a fresh start. 

A chance to try new things. Eat healthier. Watch less TV. Wear pants during my, er, your Microsoft Teams meetings. 

The clock striking midnight on Dec. 31 is like the ultimate do-over for adults.

And for the first few hungover minutes of that next morning, the world is your oyster. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. Endless possibilities await. And then you stub your toe on the Peloton/clothes rack in the bedroom and shout a word that, up until this point in your life, you鈥檝e only heard Andrew Dice Clay utter. Your kid starts crying. You soil yourself. HAP-py new year. (*cue Auld Lang Syne*)

Just kidding. Generally speaking, this doesn鈥檛 happen in our house until a few days later. Which means, for most of us, there鈥檚 a tight window at the beginning of each year when most of us are open to improvement. And that鈥檚 where resolutions come in. This year, I鈥檝e chosen what is easily the most cliched of them all: to get more exercise. 

Now this isn鈥檛 completely out of the blue. I mean, once upon a time, I actually used to be athletic. Growing up, I played competitive tennis, baseball and soccer. I was on my college golf team. After school, I got into long-distance running. 

Then I had kids and gave up everything that gave me joy athletics.

That is until recently. With my children getting a little older (they鈥檙e 9- and 12-years-old) I鈥檝e suddenly found myself with a bit more free time. So I鈥檝e gotten back into running and tennis. And with that has come additional benefits. Like, more fresh air. More sunshine. It鈥檚 even led to a few new friends. The only downside seems to be that after tennis, my shoulder hurts; after a moderate run, my knees ache. Sure, getting older has a lot to do with it, but after talking with MUSC Health human performance manager my questionable hygiene might also have something to do with, wait, no, it was technique. He said technique. That might also be part of the issue.

鈥淥ur bodies are designed to move in certain ways,鈥� he told me when we first met. 鈥淔or instance, yours seems to want to move toward the couch.鈥� OK, so he didn鈥檛 say the last part. But only because he鈥檚 too nice. I鈥檓 sure he was thinking it. Because if there鈥檚 an expert on movement, it鈥檚 Sole. Though he has the face of a 25-year-old, don鈥檛 let that fool you. For nearly a decade, the affable personal trainer has worked with collegiate and professional athletes, the last six years of which he spent with the New York Yankees. So yeah, the guy probably knows what he鈥檚 talking about.

鈥淏ut don鈥檛 just take my word for it,鈥� he said. Instead, he invited me to MUSC Health鈥檚 in Mount Pleasant to try out a new FDA-approved technology called Though still relatively new, it鈥檚 already being utilized by Olympic athletes, NFL players and college athletic programs across the nation. It operates by using eight high-speed cameras, proprietary motion-capture software, cloud processing analytics and lots of other really cool terms I copied from their website. 

 

After arriving at the center in my best workout jorts, Sole put me through a series of motions, jumps, lunges and balancing acts. The fancy cameras catch every single motion, and on a big display in front of you, there鈥檚 a stick figure mirroring your every move in real time. After maybe 15-20 minutes, Sole 鈥� along with the DARI supercomputer and its high-powered software 鈥� were able to spit out lots of fancy analytics with names like 鈥渆xplosiveness鈥� (non-lavatory) and 鈥渄ysfunction,鈥� to summarize my body鈥檚 flexibility and movements. Or, in my case, lack of flexibility. By delving into the data, Sole was able to highlight ways I could improve my body motion as well as areas where I might be most prone to injury. 

 

And though I know I鈥檝e seen better days physically, without bragging I think I can safely say I鈥檓 one or two rungs above Danny DeVito on the inferred athleticism scale. So, at the end, when the program settled on a 鈥渕otion age鈥� of 21, as compared with my birth age of 47, it was quite the ego boost. 

As is typically the case with me, I handled the good news with dignity and class.

ME: 鈥淭AKE THAT, SOLE!! HA! I AM INVINCIBLE!!鈥�

SOLE: (calmly holds up index finger, covers bottom of phone) 鈥淚鈥檓 on hold with DARI鈥檚 technical support to report a broken machine.鈥�

OK, so that didn鈥檛 happen. (The second part. And the first part might have been a little longer. And I might have taken off my shirt and jumped on a coffee table in the lobby.) In fact, Sole seemed to be somewhat impressed with my abilities. At least that鈥檚 how I interpreted him scratching his head and saying, 鈥淣o way!鈥� 

But all of that aside, here鈥檚 the best part: Sole鈥檚 services and the DARI Motion experience are available to anyone. That鈥檚 right, I鈥檓 talking to you, reader/Dad. You don鈥檛 have to be a professional athlete 鈥� or even a middle-aged medical writer 鈥� for that matter. For a small fee, you, too, can now find out why your back hurts after playing pickleball, or, if you鈥檙e like me, simply getting dressed. 

As for what I plan to do with this cool new data? I鈥檓 still not sure. But I do know this: I have a sneaking suspicion that 2023 might just be the year I stick with my New Year鈥檚 resolution the whole way through. And if not, there鈥檚 always the bright side 鈥� at least I鈥檓 finally old enough to buy alcohol. At least motion-wise.

Got an idea for Bryce's next column? Send him an email at donovanb@musc.edu.